Handling Complaints and Concerns
Roleplaying is a community effort; we're all working together to create characters and tell a story. Unfortunately, this means sometimes we'll argue, or someone will do something they shouldn't. This section is a streamlined overview of our conflict resolution system. For knowledge of specific issues and definitions we use, please see the Code of Conduct, Player Bill of Rights, and Player Penalty Systems ( http://www.legendarydeeds.com/wiki/index.php?title=Legal_Information) sections.
Problems with another Player
- Talk to Them
- Step one is always to talk to another player. A key to doing this appropriately is to not accuse; say "I," "me," and "we" a lot when you bring it forth to them. If you think they were rude, for intance, or rebuffed you, say: "Hey. I was wondering--the other day I felt like I annoyed you or did something to make you mad. Can we talk about that?"
- If you did talk to them, or at least tried, and they blew you off or didn't get it -- or if you're not comfortable talking to them without a mediator -- that's valid. We just expect to get that much explanation for why we are being brought into the situation.
- Of course, some problems rise above a simple need for mediation. If someone crossed one of the lines laid out in the PPS -- especially a serious one such as Unacceptable Role Play -- are better brought to staff. You're not expected to moderate the chat proactively for us. We just ask you make an effort to resolve smaller personal problems on your own before weighing down the staff with them.
- Document It
- Everything is better received if we get specifics rather than sweeping generalizations. Logs, screen captures, information from the wiki or forums -- anything that goes beyond memory is helpful. Keep track of times and dates, room names that you're in. It doesn't matter if it seems small; make a note of it for yourself in case it turns bigger later. We can pull it from the master logs if it gets to that state, and it's MUCH easier if you can remember when (and where) it happened, and tell us screen names. If we have to go wading through weeks of logs, we're not likely going to find it.
- Documentation from third-party platforms
- Skype, Gtalk, AIM, etc - is a bit of a gray area. Your life away from your chat is your business, and we're big promoters of the block/ignore functions, but outside messaging can be relevant as long as it's connected to and supporting evidence from the site. Use your common sense. We can't and won't police your relationships, but we will respond to issues that affect and play out on Legendary Deeds.
- Saying something like "A friend of a friend said," is not cause for us to take action. Look at urban legends: friends of friends lie. Tell your friend to stop telling you what that other friend said. Gossip is more insidious than helpful almost all the time.
- If you can document the concern and talking to the other player didn't work or doesn't seem like an option, bring it to a staff member.
- If your problem is in a particular venue, and especially if it has significant in-character ramifications, you should speak to one of the venue's storytellers. If your problem crosses several venues or is mostly an out-of-character issue, you should contact our Admins. These positions are listed: http://www.legendarydeeds.com/wiki/index.php?title=Staff_and_Player_Wiki
- From here on out, you're no longer the one taking action. The ball's in our hands.
- Show up, pay attention, speak your piece, let go of the result.
- Once you've asked for a storyteller to step in, the storyteller is mediator and arbitrator. Other staff members may be consulted and any final decision may be run by the Administrators, but it's on the storyteller in the situation to talk to the different parties involved, collect evidence from either side and from third party sources, and find a solution that resolves the situation and helps the site's community.
- If you absolutely cannot accept the result, you have two options.
- You can talk to the Admins, or you can move on. We try our best to be consistent, fair, and maintain a community a variety of players and crowds can enjoy, but we don't have the time to run every decision through the entire staff fifty times. That gets wearying. Talk to the Administrative staff if you absolutely cannot accept the decision, and accept whatever decision they make.
Problems with a Storyteller
- Talk to Them
- This rule of thumb applies even more widely to problems with staff members then to problems with other players. If a storyteller is making you concerned, talk to them about it. In the middle of the scene where they just made the ruling you didn't like isn't the time, but try to talk to them the next day, or send them a message on the forums.
- You're never going to get in trouble just for asking a question as long as you're respectful of the storyteller and their boundaries. Sending someone a private message when they're in the lobby on their storyteller skin or sending them a message on the forums is always safe.
- Contact another staffer that you might feel more comfortable with. The entire staff is going to hear about a complaint in fairly short order no matter who you talk to. Which is why we have a neutral admin in Darish. It's preferable that you send your concern to the Administrators if you cannot speak with the ST involved to sort out the issue.
So It's Over
- Have you stopped to breathe?
- When something's bothering you, it's easy to lose track of the bottom line. We all do it. Yeah, there's that old cliché about how it's just a game, but it's a game we care about and spend time and energy on. So tempers flare - and perspective gets lost.
- A complaint not getting handled the way you like is not a irredeemable loss. Getting a warning doesn't mean we all hate you and want to see you suffer. Before, during, and after a trip through our PPS, take breaks. Take a walk, have a drink, sleep on it. A day's distance can make a world of difference, no matter how bad it seemed in the moment. At the end of the night, we're all here to play together.